The Ugly, The Bad, & The Good.

No, this is not a parody of the classic spaghetti western "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly", starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach, directed by Sergio Leone!

View this little yarn kinda like a "bass-ackwards" asian version set in a parallel universe starring Kee Lin Yee-Wu,  Li Wan Kee-Fu and Yee Lai Wah-Lak  directed by Sir Jiao Leong.

OK, this tale is as exciting as neither a shoot-'em-up spaghetti western, nor a "slice 'em dice-'em" rice vermicelli eastern; it's only the mundane story of how a day in the life of Mundain turned from UGLY, to BAD to GOOD ( if not great).

First, let me begin by saying that it was not the day itself that was ugly, it was moi. Of course, by 'ugly', I don't mean my physical appearance, to which you can all attest but rather my mood and outlook, which were foul.

Just to give you some background, Mrs. Mundain made the mistake of booking accommodations before she booked our flight to Malacca.

My ire was raised when we could not find reasonable airfare to Malacca coinciding with our pre-booked, non-cancellable, non-refundable hotel booking.

To make a long story short, we paid full airfare, triple what we should have paid.  Mrs. Mundain, remorseful, agreed to do future research before committing to anything.

Today, it was decided, again not by moi, that we should tour Malacca's historical Portuguese Settlement.  I was a bit hesitant because I wanted to read up first.

But Mrs. Mundain would have nothing to do with my suggestion and hailed a taxi that took us 'way across town, dropping us at the Portuguese Settlement, in the middle of nowhere, by 9:30 am., in a thunderstorm...

This is what greeted us ...   "THE UGLY"

We were a tad disappointed by the entrance

...ticket wickets were unmanned...

...Mrs. Mundain! What have you gotten us into?

...unsettlingly, the Portuguese Settlement was in full lockdown

no one was there except this cousin of the one who
...takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin',
peering back through a broken window

...we'll, at least the toilets were unmanned because
 in Malaysia you have to pay to use the loo
...I gloated just a wee bit to save 30 sen...things were improving

... when something appears to good to be true,
it usually IS too good to be true...

exiting the toilet, I fell...and my face broke these tiles

touring the immaculate grounds made my blood boil...

...the Mundains have been duped again!

OK, WE WERE THE ONLY ONES THERE, SO WHAT TO DO?

no cell phone, nothing open, no people in sight, in the middle of nowhere...

I was quickly becoming delirious with anger...

that's when we decided to play "WHERE'S MUNDO?"

That's also when things got better and turned from "THE UGLY" to ... 

"THE BAD"

you see, the situation had not changed, but my attitude had...

Can you spot the Mundains in the following 4 photos?

 

 

Guess what? Everything started looking better when I focused on enjoying the moment, the journey, and the natural surroundings...heck, even the sun came out


And that,  my friends,  is when things quickly went from THE UGLY, to THE BAD, to

                                      "THE GOOD"

                       Beautiful scenery was just begging to be photographed...

...a dual oxen pulled card

an odd paddle board-like boat...

a surreal tree emerging from the ocean...

that I could not resist shooting again...

I spotted a boat with interesting decking...

so I moved in to take a closer look...

...before I realized that it was the final resting place for an old soul

fishermen's nets added a new dimension to the seascape view....

and to the Hotel Lisbon perched on the Malacca Strait...

 a rickety pier that gives the illusion of extending forever...

... and another surreal image where the ocean blends into the sky

...look closely for the snake that slithered as I shot....

a fisherman's boat bobs off the beach...

the
 jutting
 jetty
 jumping into &
 juxtaposing onto
 the Strait of Malacca

Mundain to self:
 "The Eagle Has Landed!", "The Eagle Has Landed!"

the setting was beautiful but where were the people?
...we finally spotted 3 humans, the ONLY other visitors 

Malcolm & Florence from London and Gilbert from KL saw us wandering aimlessly about the desolate facility and took pity, graciously inviting us to join them for lunch at the only restaurant which had mysteriously opened.

Before you could say "Terima Kasih" (Thank You) we plopped ourselves down tableside at Restoran De Lisbon ...

again, she may not look like much but looks can be deceiving

And enjoyed a unexpectedly fabulous and memorable meal  with our new found friends

Portuguese Sambal Prawns

Chicken Diablo (Devil Curried Chicken)

Ikan Baka (white snapper baked Portuguese style)

Fried Brinjal (Eggplant)

and Char Kwey Teow, of course

After lunch, the curator gave us a personally guided tour of the Portuguese Settlement Museum

the curator, a proud descendant of the
16th century Portuguese settlers in Malacca

... delivered a history lesson on Portuguese influence in South East Asia 

After lunch, it didn't matter that there were no taxis or any other form of transport available, because Malcolm, Florence and Gilbert even drove us back to town ... but not before taking us on a short shopping diversion at Chinese specialty store  ...

"secret" Malaysian retail display tower technique unbeknownst to Westerners

...excuse me, I'd like the one on top please

... also on display

 ... we found a host of interesting condiments

... and food products unavailable in North America

Was it a Good Bad or Ugly Day?  ... it all depends on one's perspective!

Walk A Mile In My Shoes

Not everything is cheap in Hanoi, some things have the potential for being very, very, expensive. For example...

NEW SCAM # 1

(new to Mundain only)

if you stop at a Hanoi intersection and you feel something tugging at your shoes...

RUN AWAY AND RUN QUICKLY!

In the hope of increasing public awareness, Mundain did not run...instead looking down he saw...

...a young, homeless, innocent, mute street boy
repairing passersby shoes (Mundain's), eking out an existence

Feeling compassion for the young lad, Mundain allowed the poor fellow, who had deftly removed my well traveled sandals while I still standing in them, to superglue and stitch repair the same.

Now, should this happen to you and if you are fortunate enough to be as astute as Mundain, you will quickly discover that the young, homeless, mute boy:

1) will not be a young boy but actually a small, wiry, young man
2) is not likely homeless but associated with a gang of like minded compatriots
3) is not so innocent but, rather, a seasoned street scammer
4) is definitely not mute when he vocally demands 800,000 Dong for his repairs while menacingly holding a 6" needle and a razor knife and having a squirt bottle of superglue at his disposal.

If I hadn't been performing a public service by increasing tourist awareness of this scam, I wouldn't have let him touch my sandals, much less ultimately pay him 100,000 Dong (for what amounted to a 10,000 Dong repair, I later discovered).

But since I was doing it pro bono, I didn't want to risk a squirt of superglue in the eye and thus add physical blindness, to the other forms of blindess already afflicting me (so I am told), namely emotional, intellectual,  discernibility ... and the list goes on.

NEW SCAM # 2

(again, new to Mundain only)

BEWARE WHEN APPROACHED BY WOMEN LIKE THESE...KEEP 5 METERS DISTANCE

Woman #1

Woman #2

IF YOU DO NOT STAY AWAY,  YOU WILL END UP LIKE THIS....

Mrs. Mundain was unsuspectingly and instantly transformed as a street scammer
deftly threw a coolie hat over her tourist head and transferred the fruit laden balancing pole.

    Now, Mr. Mundain, thinking this was a cute photo op, snapped a few as memoirs of our travels....

THE SCAMMER WILL DEMAND A LARGE SUM FOR TAKING A PHOTOGRAPH!

How does that saying go again?   "Fool me once ...."

Mundain Out (of it)